Wow… time to play catch-up!

November 10, 2010

Wow! Has it seriously been three and a half weeks since my last post?? Ok, I’m SERIOUSLY sorry about that.  Let’s get down to business, shall we?

So… double standards. What’s the first thing that comes to mind when you hear that term? Is there a law or social setting that comes to mind? Is there a male/female thing that comes to mind? Is there a certain person that comes to your mind? I’ll tell you very honestly that there is one person that INSTANTLY springs to mind when I hear “double standards”: me.

I do it from time to time. I won’t say I do it a lot, but I do it more than I realize. I do it in situations that I don’t realize I’m doing it in. I realize I do it to people that I don’t mean to do it to. I do it at times when I even know I shouldn’t be doing it (which if you’re wondering when is a good time, that answer is “NEVER”). Point is that I’m guilty of double standards. I’ve held my wife to them. I’ve held my job to them. I’ve held my congregation to them. I’ve held my youth group to them. I’ve held my praise team to them. I’ve held friends and relatives to them too. This isn’t said to be a self-loathing thing, though; I bring it to light because while I’ve been guilty of it before, I don’t want to be guilty of it any more; I desire CHANGE in my life.

Recently, I found that I had become upset with a friend of mine because this person wasn’t doing what I would do in the situation. Of course in my self-righteous mind, I “would’ve never even gotten myself into the situation.” I was quite the royal high-and-mighty jerk. I expected this person to respond exactly how I would… but they’re not me. I was expecting them to make a change that I thought they should make, even though it’s not my say over whether or not they even WANT to make that change. I was doing this and realized I have people in my life telling me that I should be doing things the way THEY see fit, but I’m not doing it. Doesn’t mean they’re right or wrong, and it doesn’t mean that I’m right or wrong. I say that, of course, meaning that the actual meat & potatoes of what I’m saying might or might not be wrong; the way I was going about it was ENTIRELY wrong; please hear that part the way I intend it.

As I said, I’ve done this to more than just that friend. I’ve done it to my praise team. In the beginning, I expected them to practice throughout the week, but when it came down to it, I would always find myself “too busy” during the week to practice songs myself. I would justify it that I was comfortable enough with the song that I didn’t need it. I’ve done it with my learning team at school by expecting them to have their part done by whatever date and time, but then not having mine done til a few hours after the soft deadline.

Folks… this is wrong. How much added stress have I put on myself because of these double standards? How damaging am I being to myself and to others by doing this? I don’t honestly think I could handle the answer to that. I don’t think any of us could; it’s too huge for us to carry.

In the Bible, it says there are to main commandments. The first is to love God with all your heart, soul, strength & mind; the second is to love your neighbor as much as you love yourself. That’s it. Love God; love people. There’s nothing in there about “Love people… as long as they do what you know (ahem… think you know) is best for them.”

Are we living this? Are we striving to live this every day? I’m ashamed to say I haven’t been as much as I should… but I’m proud to say I’m not okay with leaving it that way.


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